Ode to Erin's Life in C Minor, 3d Movement

goodnight and go

Thu, 09 Aug 2007 23:38:41 GMT

Jono and I finish our New Mexico adventure tonight to embark on our journey to NYC, which will be an adventure itself because of our oddly timed flights and the storms in New York. Once we get there, we're going to New Jersey and staying with my aunt (well, my biological dad's sister... it's complicated). We have lots of plans for while we're in the City, including some touristy things I've never done, lots of art, and a good deal of people watching and wandering around.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Albuquerque isn't quite as glamorous as New York, but we've definitely had a blast! We've definitely gotten our kicks on route 66! From Old Town (Jono's favorite), to Artichoke Cafe (my tummy's favorite), we've had so much fun. Sometimes, like right now in the UNM bookstore, I glance at him and still feel a rush of surprise. He comes from such a different section of my life and it's odd bridging the gap between Albuquerque and Europe by showing him my past. We've done new things together here as well, like staying in a grimy but sort of charming (at least initially) hostel and visiting the International Rattlesnake Museum and Explora! Museum.

I would be lying if I said we haven't had our fair share of drama since he's been here, too. I don't feel like going into much detail publicly, but suffice it to say that we're both still getting used to the idea that we aren't exclusive anymore. I'm no longer so sure about anything, really, which I suppose was kind of opposite Jono's intention in coming here. Nonetheless, I don't think either of us regret the visit because we always have such fun when we're together. I'm lucky to have him.

Entries from New York to follow!

been watching out of my window, wondering where you are

Sat, 28 Jul 2007 01:48:49 GMT

JONO IS COMING TO ALBUQUERQUE!

He, in what is definitely the most romantic gesture of which I've ever been the recipient, booked a ticket from London this morning. He arrives TODAY and I'm giddy with excitement. He said he realized that good things don't just happen and you have to make them happen, which I've definitely been trying to live by lately too. I got home after a long and lovely day with my friend Jesus and saw 2 Facebook messages and an e-mail with Jono's proposed flight plan. I immediately pointed out the flaws in the plan, but then started to think about it and realized there was a way around all of them. Th next morning, he booked tickets!

We're staying in a hostel near downtown and I'm going to show him all the fun stuff in Albuquerque along with landmarks from my childhood. Man, I love that boy.

:-)

and we peeled the freckles from our shoulders

Tue, 24 Jul 2007 05:17:55 GMT

Life is more enjoyable when you worry less about whether the people you're hanging out with are cool enough and simply enjoy them for who they are. I know that seems like a juvenile realization, but it's one I've had recently, and I'm glad for it.

I've met up with so many people lately and tied up so many loose ends. Friends from middle school, my best friend from elementary school, a friend I hardly knew when I left, an ex-boyfriend, said ex-boyfriend's friends, one of whom is now quite hot, and others. I've tried to supplement the usual teenage mall and movie theater diet with trips to the planetarium, natural history museum, UNM campus, meandering walks and bus rides, and long afternoons in coffee shops. I've given up on the idea of an Abercrombie summer to great benefit.

I finished Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, which was kind of a bittersweet experience. I got the book at a midnight release party because I figured this was my last chance to go to one, and it was pretty much what you'd expect. Tempting though making fun of the dorks seemed, I realized since I was there I probably had no room to talk. :-) The book itself was pretty good. It had a completely different feel than the others - a frenetic, almost exhausting pace. I thought some of the exposition was clunky and could have been better handled and some of the plot elements seemed unnecessary and badly explained (I'll be more specific in a few weeks when people won't be so touchy about spoilers). Some of the deaths seemed excessive. The epilogue was Hallmark sweet and should have either been omitted entirely or actually fleshed out to more than a few pages. But overall, I really enjoyed it and am looking forward to going back and rereading the series.

I also watched Requiem for a Dream at Jesus' recommendation, and it was amazing in a kind of harrowing and occasionally horrifying way. It's tempting to interpret it as "...and the moral of the story is, don't do drugs", but I think that's missing something. It does have that effect, though. It's odd for me because I occasionally, in dark moments, feel attracted to the weird glamour of druggie culture and of the promise that drugs can make you not feel anything despite knowing the havoc drugs wreak and their power to destroy people. It's an attraction I've been able to easily overcome so far, but I suppose it's good to have an awareness of it.

The future is a table.

Thu, 19 Jul 2007 19:50:49 GMT

This is the most incredible thing I've seen lately. Watch the 2nd and 3d videos, and start the count down until winter 2007, when they're set to come out.

Summer

Sun, 15 Jul 2007 23:31:12 GMT

This summer has literally been amazing so far. I've traveled all over - Disneyland, Chicago, beaches in Michigan, family all over, Texas, and now New Mexico. My mom and my little brother were with me until a few days ago when they left back to Germany, and I'm missing them more than I thought I would.

I had forgotten how much I love Albuquerque and how much it feels like home. It's such a vibrant, fun city and I just wish I were more able to explore it. I feel pretty limited here in the suburbs with family friends, and a lot of the people who I had planned on hanging out with are... not so eager to hang out with me? Maybe they're just bad at making plans or they're really busy. I'm not sure, but it does suck. I miss my family and my friends and feel bored and lonely a good chunk of the time.

I guess in this next week I'll try to master the bus system so I can do things on my own rather than complaining. I also need to start writing more. I was whining to a friend online and he suggested I use this summer as a time to find myself and to reflect rather than being upset about not being invited to parties and living the summer depicted in Abercrombie ads. It's not a bad idea. If I'm honest with myself, I've never been a terribly social person, and the root of my discontent is probably something other than not having plans every night of the week. Besides, once college starts in late August, quiet, unscheduled time will be in short supply. So I'll try to enjoy it now.

The season's change was a conduit.

Fri, 08 Jun 2007 12:30:01 GMT

Busy. Reverse-chronological style update:

Graduation tomorrow, just finished an interminable rehearsal session.
It's not going to be as good as it was last year or the year before since it's in a gym rather than a cathedral. But it's OK. Some drama with class ranks. I'm excited to get the diploma and leave Germany. I like change.

Lots of parties lately. Trying to balance working out and healthy eating with the massive changes happening around me, but I've accepted that my weight loss may just be stalled for a while.

Prom was great. Some drama afterward trying to find the afterparty. Eventually Jono and I gave up and went back to the temporary lodging room to cuddle and sleep -- good decision. We're still breaking up, though, and that's tough. We're dealing with it differently.

The end of the school year went well; I got a B in calculus and "top student" awards in AP Bio, AP Lit, and Model United Nations. I won a few nice scholarships that will help a lot next year. My mom and I moved out of the house in Rohl by ourselves! because we're amazing like that.

Half-marathon in Luxembourg was amazing. My time was alright and the overall experience was incredibly. People lined nearly every kilometer of the route and all the cheering made me feel like a rockstar. Lots of fun.

More updates to follow sporadically. I love all of you who actually read this. :-D

My return to actual journal-writing-in-ness.

Sun, 22 Apr 2007 09:25:03 GMT

I'm learning to be OK on my own.

Jono and I aren't exactly broken up, but we're complicated. With another two years (at the very least) apart, we're beginning to wonder if the pros of the relationship outweigh the cons. He left yesterday and will be back in six weeks for prom and graduation and after that... who knows? I think we'll end up together and I think we could be really good together, but honestly we have a lot of growing up to do and I want some freedom in college. I'm still going to convert to Judaism because with or without Jono, there's something in it that feels like coming home.

I'm really looking forward to the end of the school year and to the summer. A few days after graduation (June 9th) I'm heading back to Albuquerque with my mom to see friends and family-by-choice. Then, on the 23d of June we're heading to Austin for the UT orientation and to see grandma Gloria (Nick's mom). After that it'll either be back to Albuquerque or to some other city with family so I can work for a few months to offset college costs and keep busy.

Keeping busy seems to be best thing right now -- I feel down over all the uncertainty of my relationships and the future. The two major sucky things about break ups are that it's hard to talk about a break up to the person you're breaking up with, though that's the person you'd most like to talk to about anything and you lose the ability to see into the future. Well, maybe it's more apt to say you realize you never had that ability in the first place. But after two wonderful years with someone it gets hard to see your future without them in it.

After my trip to South Africa where I met all of Jono's family, it seemed so obvious to me that we would do like everybody else in his family does and get married young and stay happily married forever. Now because of a combination of factors, but primarily geography and citizenship, that seems less likely.

I'm grateful for the multitude of memories I have with Jono, but it's hard to listen to a song or walk a path or watch a movie that doesn't make me think of him. The only remedy for that, I suppose, is time and a change of scenery. Fortunately (?), I'll have both of those factors in spades after I leave Germany.

I love this.

Sat, 03 Feb 2007 14:26:15 GMT

Three for the Mona Lisa

John Stone

1

It is not what she did
at 10 o'clock
last evening

accounts for the smile

It is
that she plans
to do it again

tonight.

2

Only the mouth
all those years
ever

letting on.

3

It's not the mouth
exactly

it's not the eyes
exactly either

it's not even
exactly a smile

But, whatever,
I second the motion.

Sat, 27 Jan 2007 15:57:03 GMT

Dear Journal,

I'm sorry that I have been ignoring you lately. It's not so much that I'm overwhelmed or ridiculously busy anymore, I've just gotten lazy.

After finals week (next week for me since I went to The Hague International Model United Nations), I'm going to start training for a half-marathon during a period of school where I no longer have a class. I'm going to ask to watch more surgeries in career practicum. I'm going to try to be less snippy when I feel annoyed. I'm going to learn the Hebrew alphabet.

But first, I'm going to polish off the last of these stroopwafels.

The only difference

Thu, 04 Jan 2007 20:25:07 GMT

Some places are ruined by tourism. Any charm they might have had is trampled on as travellers battle to capture glimpses of poigniancy from a tour bus. But other places, like Tenerife, are made exclusively of tourists. Tourism is all they are. I think the primary difference between ones that are ruined and ones that simply are is that the ruined ones still try to sell glossy fake copies of the native artificats, like African masks or Aboriginee digeridoos. The ones that simply are have no culture to try to sell, so they just sell masses of perfume, alcohol, and digital cameras.

I´m having fun anyway.

Grandpa, #1

Sat, 02 Dec 2006 17:19:53 GMT

Last month, I watched my grandpa die. The neurologist had said the day before that he lost all brain function, so really he was already dead in every way that counts, but due to life support we were given a chance to say goodbye to his body. My family was the last to arrive, exhausted by the journey from Brussels.

We got to the hospital and were escorted up to the ICU by my cousins, Icky and Cubby (who, for some reason, now prefer to be called “Richard” and “Jacob”). We entered the waiting room that the people who had loved my grandfather had been occupying for the week while the life slowly seeped out of his body. It smelled stale, like dried sweat and cigarette smoke. We hugged and cried on already damp shoulders.

Then we entered the ICU through two big automatic doors. We walked into my grandpa’s room where he was connected by a maze of tubes and wires to 4 or 5 beeping machines, including one doing his breathing for him. We cried more and touched his puffy arms. His eyes were slightly open but not focused on anything. I ran my hands through his wiry silver hair, kissed his forehead, and wondered if there was any use in saying something. Everyone else crammed into the little room talked to him like he was still alive, but I just didn’t see the point.

My step-brother was sobbing in the cold November air outside the hospital. The hospital chaplain came and read random biblical verses to my thoroughly nonreligious family and told us about his dad dying. I held my mom in my arms and stroked her hair as my cousins, aunts and uncles, nieces and nephews, and assorted other family did similar things to try to comfort themselves. My mom made the decision to call in the nurse and doctor who pulled out the tube doing his breathing for him. My tattered family cried, but I had an odd feeling, detached, surgical, and sterile. People don’t die as soon as they’re removed from life support; it can take up to 3 days. Grandpa fought, but not for that long. His lungs begged for breath as his muscles slowly became fatigued from the futile gasping.

My family filed back into the waiting room and eventually our talk became less sad. We had coffee. My parents considered taking us to the hotel since we didn’t know how much longer grandpa might fight. I told them I didn’t want to go. About an hour later, we slowly filed back into grandpa’s room. Nobody told us that the numbers on his monitors were dipping lower and lower, but we all seemed to sense that it was time. We turned out to be right. Everybody cried and my aunt wiped the pink fluid from his lungs off his mouth. Someone accidentally bumped into the little “flush toilet” button and the sound of water swirling in the basin mixed oddly with the sounds of sniffling. And then, a few minutes later, he was gone.

We cried more and finally packed up and left to the hotel. I was more exhausted than I have ever been in my life.

He was a great man, flawed as much as anybody but intelligent, hard-working, and strong. His death isn’t something I would have changed; he spent the last 10 years of his life miserable and ill. I’ve always lived far away from his home of Harrisburg, Illinois, so I never got to know him as an adult. But he knew me and he expected great things from me. He has always been a constant in my life and it’s scary to realize that even a man who was as larger-than-life as him has to die someday. He was 74.

Music soothes the beast.

Fri, 03 Nov 2006 21:26:35 GMT

1) What was the first CD/Record/Album/Artist you ever bought and what format was it in? (Vinyl/Cassette/CD/MP3 Download)?
Will Smith - Big Willy Style. On CD. Shut up.
(the worst part is, I ocasionally still listen to songs from it...)

2) How do you usually listen to music? (iPod/Walkman/Stereo/Radio)
Clunky lovely Nomad MP3 player.

3) What is your favorite genre of music and why?
Singer-songwriter pop-folk with a bit of alternative and R&B.

4) What is your opinion on music video shows and music televion?
Videos are usually pretty cool, but the whole "show an attractive half-naked girl dancing and profit" thing is a little repetitive and boring. Music video shows, like Behind the Music or whatever can be entertaining but again can be a bit repetitive.

5) Do you usually agree with who the winners of the Grammy Awards are?
Not really, but I don't follow/care about the Grammys, so it's all gravy.

Umm.. Sunday 5!

Sun, 22 Oct 2006 12:05:50 GMT

1. How do you deal with stress?
Eating too much, not eating at all, sleeping too much, not sleeping at all. I'm just the picture of health.

2. Do you have a favorite "comfort food" and what is it?
Mashed potatoes or chocolate ice cream!

3. Do you have a "comfort activity" and what is it?
Reading a good book or going on a nice, long run.

4. What days depress you and why?
Ones where I don't feel like I have my life under control.

5. What days excite you and why?
Pretty much all of them except those in number 4.

Dear Harvard

Sun, 15 Oct 2006 20:35:05 GMT

A convo with wickywoo who just started attending Harvard (yes, he's a genius):

[22:18] Elbel1988: put in a good word for me at harvard
[22:18] Sam: are you applying?
[22:18] Elbel1988: i'm not applying, but if they send me a letter invting me to attend
[22:18] Elbel1988: i won't say no
[22:18] Sam: hahahahahahaha
[22:18] Elbel1988: so use those connections
[22:19] Sam: oh yeah
[22:19] Elbel1988: ':-D
[22:19] Sam: because as one of 1700 freshman, I have that kind of pull
[22:19] Elbel1988: i think so
[22:19] Elbel1988: also, tell them that i'll only come if it's free
[22:19] Sam: okay
[22:19] Sam: will do
[22:20] Sam: "Dear Admissions Office,"
[22:20] Sam: I have this friend.
[22:20] Sam: OKay, so I haven't actually met her in real life, but trust me, she's cool
[22:20] Sam: And you should let her in.
[22:20] Elbel1988: just tell them that i ooze loveliness
[22:20] Elbel1988: ooze it
[22:20] Elbel1988: and would ooze it all over campus
[22:20] Sam: No, she didn't send an application; she's beyond that.
[22:20] Elbel1988: and so they should let me in
[22:20] Sam: But yeah, let her come. For free.
[22:21] Sam: Love, Sam
[22:22] Elbel1988: I think the "love" would be a nice touch
[22:22] Elbel1988: also, bribery
[22:22] Elbel1988: and/or death threats
[22:22] Elbel1988: whatever you have to do
[22:22] Elbel1988: i don't wanna micromanage.

Emo warning ahead.

Wed, 27 Sep 2006 19:24:57 GMT

So, my life is overall not bad, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't incredibly stressed. My family situation is rapidly deteriorating, and between work, school, cross country, and college applications, and attempting to maintain relationships with people, I'm very overwhelmed. I'm trying to not let myself feel it, because I don't have time to be overwhelmed. Not yet, anyway.

254 days until graduation.
81 days until South Africa!

Mon, 25 Sep 2006 19:26:42 GMT

i am exhausted.

Life is a blur

Tue, 19 Sep 2006 17:55:22 GMT

So, to try to recap a bit... senior year DOES go by fast. We've already been in school 3 weeks! Cross country is going super, we had our first meet on Saturday and it was lots of fun even though I finished like 50th. We had to be at the bus stop at FIVE THIRTY. Ugh. :-D Buuut it's OK, I'm gonna get better, especially if these practices keep up. Today was hella hard. But nice. Right, so after the meet on Saturday (Bitburg came first in girls and boys divisions!), my mom and her friends picked me up from SHAPE and we drove to GK to go to the Air Force Ball, which was really fun and gave me an opportunity to wear my prom dress again! I looked pretty hot if I do say so myself.

Last Wednesday we went to the spa in Bitburg for three hours. You'd think being nakie with a bunch of strangers would be weird, but it really wasn't. Oddly enough, people overall looked better naked than in swim suits. I'm not sure if this speaks to our inability as women to buy flattering swim suits or what, but it's true. It was all very European with a bajillion different rooms -- the best one was the honey room where you slather the delicious bee nectar all over yourself and emerge sweet and soft. Yummy.

Today as busy and productive. I learned how to do CPR and got certified. I ended up in the wrong class, though -- it was the one for healthcare providers. So that was pretty cool. They were all nice about it and I made it through the class successfully. Woot. So, if any of you choke or go into cardiac arrest around me, I can totally like save your life and zap you with an automated external defibrillator. Spiff.

NOW, I just ate dinner and ordered my graduation announcements (8 months and 19 days to go!), and I'm trying to bring myself to do calculus/bio/english/college work. It's harder than you might think with the evil call of Myspace just a click away...

Irony: I tried to post this last night but my Internet mysteriously died for a few hours -- so I had to do my work! :-D

Interesting...

Fri, 08 Sep 2006 16:44:19 GMT

My Personality


Neuroticism	84
Extraversion	54
Openness To Experience	35
Agreeableness	36
Conscientiousness	83

Test Yourself Compare Yourself View Full Report

Ugg Boots, Discount Ugg Boots and MySpace Codes by Pulseware Survey Software

Senior Year Schedule

Sun, 03 Sep 2006 14:07:09 GMT

Blue Days:
AP Calculus AB - Speegle
German II - Nicholoson
Model United Nations - Hoffman (2nd semester: Economics (Distance Learning), Cottrell)
AP English Literature - Attleson

Red Days:
Career Practicum (working at hospital)
Career Practicum (working at hospital) (2nd semester: Psychology, Howard)
AP Biology - Vadney
Seminar - Briley

So, it's gonna be pretty challenging, but I'm still excited. I got every class I wanted! Pretty impressive, considering I was only signed up for one that I wanted just last week... ahh, good having a nice counselor. :-)

In other news, we're going out for Thai food tonight. Mmmm!

First Friday Five in Ages

Sat, 02 Sep 2006 08:09:26 GMT

1) This is the 1st of September, what do you want to accomplish by the 31st?
Have my Columbia application, UK applications, and AF ROTC applications in. Also, lose 5 pounds.

2) What does September make you think about or feel?
Well, the obvious answer is 9/11, but living in Germany it more feels like being lowered into a giant pit of darkness and cold that you'll be stuck in until, like, June. *sigh*

3) September is the ninth month; can you name nine memories so far from this year?
Youth Assembly in the Hague in January... nearly getting sent home and all of the drama afterwards. Midsummer Night's Dream. Graduation. The Cato seminar in Florida. Sitting on the porch with Jono and his younger brother in London, playing silly games and eating crackers. The first day of school and senior crowns. My and Jono's 3 day "break." Scaring off freshmen from our table.

4) What does September have in common with three other months and can you name them?
Pretty fall leaves, like October.
About as cold as it is in, I dunno, March.
A lot of stress, like most other school months, but especially May.

5) The first weekend in September signals the end of summer for many even though it doesn’t really end for weeks. When does summer end for you?
When I go back to school, which was a week ago.

1st draft of ED Columbia essay!

Sat, 26 Aug 2006 21:11:18 GMT

A few days ago I posted a whine about college application essays, but I sat down an hour ago and now have my very own 1st draft! This will be probably the first peice of my writing to undergo major revisions and scrutinization, but I really am eager for feedback.

Here are some problems I see:
-It's 112 words over the reccommended limit of 500.
-It sort of wanders at the end and has a weak conclusion, with pre-med awkwardly thrown in.
-It may come off as too casual.
-I don't know if it "accurately reflects me"

Please, anybody, give me honest feedback! I really am eager to hear it and I promise I won't get upset. Thanks in advance...

It all started with a splashy brochure sent to my sixth grade self. This was in the days before my family’s mailbox was deluged with dozens of shiny pamphlets advertising various universities, so I was understandably delighted. The brochure introduced me to People to People Student Ambassadors Program, and with it, to the world of travel.

Of all of the wonderful opportunities life has afforded me, I can think of nothing that has contributed more to my development than traveling and living abroad. That first brochure led me, shaky and pale, onto a Boeing 747 bound to Australia; though I was then and still am an extremely nervous flier, from the moment my feet hit that Pacific ground, I was hooked. Travel opened up, quite literally, a whole world to me. It was in Australia, away from my family, home, and friends, that I fell in love for the first time, developed a fashion sense, learned how to make small talk, and became me. But that was only the beginning.

The next year I was set to travel with the same program to Europe, but when the tragedy of 9/11 occurred, my group was routed instead to New Zealand. I was upset, but I needn’t be: barely two years later my parents, members of the United States Air Force, were given orders to Germany, where I have lived for the last two years. I live in a tiny village, Rohl, barely qualified to be called a town and barely qualified to be on a map. Still, I love it. Sometimes I’m woken up by my landlord’s cows walking behind my house – yes, really! When Pope John Paul II died, the church bell a few steps from my door rang for hours in mourning. This petite, picturesque little place in southwest Germany is completely different from my suburban home in Albuquerque or any of the 5 homes I had lived in before that. Even though my German is somewhere between incomprehensible and terrible and most of the people in my village speak broken English, the last two years have been great.

Far from “affirming that all people are basically the same” or any of the clichéd nonsense people write to try to get in to college, the experience has shown me how very different we all are. And while I think that, most of the time, those differences should be celebrated – for example, I can enjoy both Italian Parmesan and Kraft string cheese, sometimes during the same meal! – I also have a profound sense of self and of right and wrong. Freedom is my ultimate, a non-negotiable that is the only justifiable reason to fight. Being a close witness to terrorism like the London bombings has intensified my passion against Islamic radicalism and my desire to help find solutions to global crises the Israeli-Arab conflict. The only meaningful peace will have to brokered on the back of mutual respect, personal liberties, and an understanding of co-existence.

Yet, while my desire to work in some capacity against xenophobia is strong, my commitment to a medical career is even stronger. I see no reason why I cannot study both and participate in both fields after college, perhaps in the Air Force or perhaps in the private sector. I am looking forward to a campus with strong programs in both natural and political science, a lively student body ripe with many debates and discussions, and ample opportunity to intern and study abroad. With the strong values that living and traveling abroad have developed, I know that the next phase of my life will be just as exciting and helpful to my personal growth as the last.

Home sweet home

Sat, 26 Aug 2006 20:19:52 GMT

I'm home. It's wonderful and it's making me realize how much I adore having my own space. I got a lot of errands done, including setting up my schedule for next year, although there are still two classes sort of in dispute... I'll post my schedule after it's all figured out, though. Oh, and I filled out a form to start volunteering at the hospital. I really hope they find room for me!

Today my family went to Manderscheeid, Holland, where we ate Italian ice and looked at antiques and pretty things. Tonight we went to a going away party for some family friends. It reminds me of something Sierra said once: "The best thing about living here is, if you don't like someone, eventually they will move. The worst thing about living here is, if you don't like someone, eventually they'll move." But it was a lovely party and I had a lot of fun. On the way home I chatted with my parents about how I basically feel conflicted in every area of my life, and how hard and confusing it is to be 17. They actually related and had some good ideas and input! Parents can be useful sometimes... ;-)

College essay

Mon, 21 Aug 2006 14:22:30 GMT

"Write an essay which conveys to the reader a sense of who you are... limit yourself to 250 - 500 words."

How can I possibly do that? I am so much more than 250 words. I am all the words that have ever been spoken, and more, and less. I am the sum of the universe's accidents, and yet completely insignificant. Fine, maybe I can compress my being into a single double-spaced page, but what good is that without context? Without knowing every book, song, event, person, and memory that has molded me, you don't really know me at all. If you think about it, one person can never really ever know another. I think that's a major reason why people seek out God - so they can feel as if they're truly known by someone or something in a way that no other person can know them.

Wait, I intended this to be an essay whining about college apps. It degenerated pretty quickly.

"Squeaky swings and tall grass
The longest shadows ever cast
The water's warm and children swim
And we frolicked about in our summer skin

I don't recall a single care
Just greenery and humid air
Then Labor day came and went
And we shed what was left of our summer skin

On the night you left I came over
And we peeled the freckles from our shoulders
Our brand new coats so flushed and pink
And I knew your heart I couldn't win
Cause the season's change was a conduit
And we'd left our love in our summer skin"

It's 4:24 in the morning and I can't sleep.

Sun, 20 Aug 2006 03:25:50 GMT

I am so very, very ready to be home. And in two days, I will be.

Christians may like their Bible, but Jews LOVE their Torah...

Sun, 13 Aug 2006 21:04:11 GMT

I went with Jono to shul (synagogue) yesterday. The service was beautiful, interesting, and completely baffling at parts. Plus, Jono was sitting ahead of me because men and women sit separately, so he couldn't really explain to me why, for example, a group of men, seemingly at random, went up to a wall and held their tallitot (prayer shawls) over their heads and then stuck out their arms and started singing in Hebrew and moving back and forth. It turns out they're descended from the Cohens, who used to be priests in old Israel, and so they have to do their Hebrew ghost impersonation during services. :-) I really did like it, though, and I think the more I understand it the more I'll grow to appreciate it. It was very, very different from church, with people (again, seemingly randomly) throwing out amens and Hebrew. Also a lot of sitting and standing and sitting again, and during some times some people stand and others sit, and of course everyone is chatting with their neighbors through the whole thing (the women's section is like GossipFest 3000) and let's not forget the people entering pretty much whenever and going around and shaking people's hands. Kind of hectic. But I did really enjoy it, the community seems very nice and friendly and close-knit.

Oh, and on Friday Jono and I had our first shabbat dinner all by ourselves! It was also very nice.

Today we were going to go to the Thai Food Festival, but the weather was just so gross that we decided to pass. So now we're waiting for Jono's family to come home from Greece, where they've been vacationing. Tomorrow we're off to Nottingham to decorate Jono's room and get him all settled in for the upcoming year.